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So You Think You Might Like To Own a Devon?

Joshua Gunn

SO, YOU THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE TO OWN A DEVON

(Well, I did too, and now that I've got one, I want a couple more). Some people in this world find pleasure in "showing" their cats at professional conventions, which simply baffles me. It is not the showing itself that baffles me--anyone who has ever squealed in joy for having won a beauty contest knows how pleasurable looking pretty can be. I've not won a beauty contest, personally. But one of my cousins did. Anyhow, my point is that if someone is showing cats, then it is likely they are also giving them baths.

My heart goes out to these masochists.

If you're looking for a Devon, you're probably licking a few wounds yourself. Believe me, I know what a tough crowd cat breeders can be. Heck, if you really wanna make some friends and extend the overture of getting your new cat, keep telling breeders you would like a "cheap" cat. That really sends 'em crazy. Why, you ask? Well, there's this philosophy that "love has no price," which some folks buy into (pun intended). Then there's this other philosophy that says, "If I'm going to pay $3000 just in vet bills, my cats should be $700 for a pet, and $1000 for a show cat." Usually Devon breeders set the price such that: "If the pet buyer can afford this, then they can afford potential pet bills." Well, that's the gist of it, I think. In short, most breeders are not into Devons for the money. Nope. They love perms and cat breath, and they speak the language known as "devonspeak": "Awwwww--Wookatdatface--wookatdatwittleObiface." In English, this phrase amounts to: "Oh, look at that face, look at that little Obi face." My current boy's name is Obi. And he's got an adorable little face. He always talks back when I comment on his beautiful little face. He says "Meow." In French, he says "Mew." And in Latin, he says "Meowmus." In Southern Drawl, a language both of us are fluent in now, it's "meeyawl."

The Paragraph With The Thesis

But I digress. Yes, breeders are a strange one themselves. I'm allowed to make this judgment because I'm neither a breeder--not even a shower, for that matter. I'm just a guy whose life revolves around his girlfriend, his electronic equipment, a few dead Greeks (Aristotle, et al.) and a dead American named Kenneth Burke, and his cats, Obi the Devon, and Psappho the Sphynx. And, I used to have a Devon boy named Vico, who is, alas, no longer with us. But the story of my adopting Vico is the most fun, so I'll tell you about it. I'll also tell you about the "BYB monster." I'll also tell you about my favorite food if you hang on long enough.

The Quest For a Devon Begins
(Or, How I Learned To Annoy Breeders)

I started looking for a cat in August of 1997, after having moved to a new city and being forced to live alone for the first time since I left home. I was--and am--allergic to all kinds of critters, especially humans who listen to Lynard Skynard. But I wanted some company, and loved cats, and knew there was a "hypoallergenic" cat out there. I began my search online.

I originally discovered the Sphynx, and although they were not as beautiful as I was, I decided I wanted one. Unfortunately, I made a huge mistake on my hunt for a companion: I tried to have a sense of humor. I don't want to draw too many discursive battlelines, but if you spend enough time in the fancy, you'll discover the breeders of some breeds are more afraid of the creature known as the "BYB" than others. The "BYB" is the creature who, while human, has a horrible mental defect: It thinks that one can make money by breeding and selling cats (ergo, "Back Yard Breeder"). Evidently, BYBs have a few codes that they transmit to breeders, and by luck or fate, I used them. It all started when I wrote in an email to a sphynx breeder that "I'm a poor graduate student," and that I'm "looking for a deal." Breeders read this as "I'm a complete idiot and think I might try to breed these expensive cats to make some money." Nothing could be further from the truth, of course (as if I'd put up with cats marking thinks in my apartment. Yeah. And I can barely stand the smell of cleaning the litter box). Anyhow, so I discovered that there was this newsgroup/listserv thing to which one of my inquiries was posted by this breeder, in effect, blackballing me as a potential BYB monster. So, the moral of the story is that you should be prepared for a little skepticism. And, in a not-so-related way, canned cheese is a bad thing.

There are lots of horror stories among the breeding community that justifies being skeptical of potential pet owners, so be aware of it. It's not uncommon to be asked about your lifestyle or your eating habits, so get ready. Getting a Devon means getting personal (or purrsonal, if you prefer) with the breeder. There' s no way to get away from that. And if your breeder seems uninterested in your personal life, then you may want another breeder. S/he should at least ask if you have other pets . . . (if s/he doesn't, please do find another more inquisitive breeder).

Well, anyhow, this unfortunate incident led me on the trail to Devons, another "hypoallergenic" breed (I'm gonna talk about what this term means in a moment, so be on your toes). Online I discovered a few fun breeders who actually had a sense of humor! (incidentally, most Devon breeders do, except for one I met from Europe who insisted that macaroni was from Northern Spain, not Italy as I had originally thought). One of those breeders was Terri Jorgensen, a breeder and former rock star and commercial jingle singer from Texas, now stationed in Kansas. She liked me, I liked her, and after a couple of talks on the phone, we decided adoption was in order. There were some other breeders that I also enjoyed -- oh, goodness. That sounds horrible; what I mean is that I met other breeders whose personalities I appreciated , but only Terri admitted she was a fan of Annie Lennox. She said she had a fellah just for me, and that his name was "Ira."

Eventually I mailed my deposit and prepared for "Ira's" arrival. The first order of business was to come up with a really long, pretentious cat name (go to a cat show--you'll see!). Here's what I came up with: "Giambattista Alasdair 'Ira' Vico." I also read as much as I could about Devons. Here's what I found out (read below):

History Of The Devon

You may have found a picture of a Devon and thought, "she looks like a Chihuahua" (you cuiero taco bell?)! But hey! They're really cats, and the bonus is they don't typically pee on the carpet! And as far as I know, the breed has never suffered the pawing of some horribly confused canine. If, in the past, the species ever mixed, a poodle would most likely be the culprit. Only poodles are stupid enough to mistake a cat for a dog. I know: When I was little we had a poodle named "Tootsie" (and named so way before the Hoffman flick came to the silver screen, thank you). Tootsie was actually a "doodle" (a cross between a Datsun and a poodle). She was a dumb-ass dog. She got bedded by a German Sheppard (or was it a Cocker Spaniel? I don't remember), and had to undergo some serious knives to correct what would be a very problematic labor (I remember crying when I discovered Tootsie in the back yard, butt-to-butt with a whelping Sheppard with his legs spread-eagle like. My pop ran out with the hose and began squirting both of them to put an end to the forbidden union). Wait a minute--maybe I misspoke. Tootsie was the victim. Ok, lets say that if the species mixed, the German Sheppard would the dumb-ass dog to blame it on. Well, dogs are stupid. (Alas, though sure to irk a number of cat lovers, cats are even dumber. That's what "cute" really means when applied to critters). Not that God intended dogs to make love with cats. But, it is his eventual plan. St. John tells us in his revelations that when Jesus comes again, dogs will "lie" with cats, and lions with sheep. When I was in fifth grade my Sunday School teacher told me "lie" meant "rest along-side." But I know that those disciples had dirty minds. They wrote about "whores" and "harlots" all the time. I mean, c'mon! Who do those Sunday school teachers think we are? North Dakotans? Or worse, Mississippians?

But then, looking at a Devon, you may wonder whether there is not some dog in 'em. I'm convinced Devons are really dogs that somehow got trapped inside a cat's body during the doggie transmigration of souls (you know, reincarnation mishaps). Vico even fetched! My current Devon, Obi, also fetches and wags his tail when he's happy. As I write this he's letting my other cat clean him (just like a dog--to lazy to clean himself!). Heck, one of my best friends here in Minneapolis, Angela Ray, says that she hates cats but loves my Obi because he "acts like a dog."

Well, he's not a dog, thank you. He's really a secret agent from the Planet Cuteness (oy! I can pour it on . . . ).

The first Devonshire Rexes appeared in Buckfastleigh, Devonshire, England, in 1960. This lady mysteriously referred to in fancier literature as "Miss Cox" lived near a tin mine. There was this mangy, curly haired tom cat milling around all the time that obviously lived in the deserted mine. Anyhow, true to the cultural myth that homeless men are looking for love in all the wrong places, another stray tortoiseshell (that's a color, I think) dame (Queen Elizabeth knighted her) gave birth near her Miss Cox's home (and she figured the sire was the tom cat), and lo and behold, one of the kittens had some curly-hair. Like a poodle! She kept this one kitten (no one mentions what became of the rest of the litter--but, you can figure it out).

In a stroke of pure genius, Miss Cox named this cat "Kirlee." The strange wavy coat had appeared in cats elsewhere, however. There was evidently another dude who was called Brian Stirling-Webb who also had some curly haired cats as a result of some unrelated genetic blunder. Stirling-Webb, however, was busy breeding his curly cats for profit and prestige among the fancier community (his cats, evidently, became a small "rage" in the snooty cat community in England), which he called Cornish Rexes. Of course, this mutation occurred on a farm in Cornwall England around 1950. The "rex" referred to the rex rabbit, a critter known for its odd, curly whiskers (and some say, the odd spiral-shaped dung). The Cornish got the "Rex" because of the similarity--although we should mention that the Cornish Rex's whiskers are so curly they usually break-off, unlike those of the rex rabbit.

Anyhow, as the story goes, Mr. Stirling-Webb wanted to increase the gene pool of the breed, heard of Miss Cox's now famous poodle-cat, and urged a cross-breed (or, as fanciers call it, an "out-breed"). An out-breed is usually done for genetic diversity, cause we must remember that most pure breads are inbred, meaning they're not much unlike the bluebloods of the British. What is it with these people? Remember the royal hemophilia problem? I mean, even my parents know that when cousins and sisters and brothers marry the kids come out retarded (we may be from the South, but we're from Georgia, not Mississippi).

So Stirling-Webb puts Kirlee in a fur-lined room with some of his Cornish (Barry White was not big yet, but we're reasonably sure Marvin Gaye was played in the background). To Stirling-Webb's chagrin, many matings only produced straight-haired cats. This led fanciers to the conclusion that the Kirlee was of a different genetic mutation (and he was, since the curly coat genes are recessives), so the breeds were not bred together again, and we got da Devonshire Rex.

The rest of the breed history is rather boring, so we'll stop here. Suffice it to say that the Cornish, the Sphinx, and the Devon are tenuously related (although from different genetic mutations). Many "out-breeds" produced the Devons of today, which are rather different than Kirlee, as well as the Cornish and the Sphinx. The Sphinx have little hair to speak of (that's the cat in the Austin Powers movie that looks like a rat). Cornish have rows of hair. Devons don't have rows (well, sometimes they do). Think of it this way: Cornish have "waves," you know, like cowlicks; Devon's have a perm. And their personalities are different too. Cornish are busy all the freaking time, like elves, always having to do something. I almost got a Cornish, until I played with one at a cat show and got annoyed with how "busy" they are (Cornish are like cats on crank, in my humble opinion). Devons are busy too, but they'll sit in your lap (something that Cornish typically won't do unless there's an incentive--like a toy).

People like these cats because they have little "guard hair," which is the longer cat hair that sheds on shit. The theory is that people with allergies can tolerate rexes. That's not to say they are free of allergens! All cats have little proteins in their oils that makes allergic folks go nuts. It's simply that, for some reason, Devons make less of this oil (don't let the short hair length fool ya). Nothing is non-allergenic. I should know--I've got 63 environmentally related allergies. Even those nasty, plastic bed-mite covers one can put on your mattress. They smell like beach balls, and people can be allergic to that too. You know, that plastic smell. I had a cover on my bed when I was little. Not so much for allergies as for the uncontrollable bladder. I still should use one of those things from time to time. Especially when I've been playing some serious drinking games.

Actually, according to Webster, you could call Rexes hypoallergenic: "not likely to cause an allergic reaction." That doesn't mean these guys aren't allergen free--they are not. Hypo (less) and Hyper (more) gives you a inkling. I think Persians are Hyperallergenic. Definitely. And for me, big dogs, like Labs. And English Peas. Yuck.

Back To Vico The Devon

Well, so, as I was saying before that long historical detour, I eventually mailed my deposit to make sure I got Vico. My landlord, someone who needs a few lessons in "Creating Tenant Loyalty," made me pay out the nose and other orifices to keep the cat, but the sacrifice was worth it. On January 9th, 1998, Ms Anna White and I went to the airport to pick up little Vico, mailed from Kansas with love (and a few kitty toys). After two days, Vico was the "head of household" (If I wanted to play really cheesy, I would finish with "and my heart too," but I do have a sugar limit myself).

Now, Obi the Devon is the head of the bedroom (Psappho takes care of the rest of the apartment). I mean that in a clean sense (that he's the one that decides who sleeps where).

But I ramble.

Oh, and my favorite food is the Alamo Nachos from Green Mill, a local restaurant chain.

The author would like to note that portions of this essay were modified versions of information found in his book, _The Art of Vico Maintenance_, available for a nominal fee or a cat toy. Email him at gunn0025@tc.umn.edu. He is also not very serious about this.

Joshua Gunn

For some reason, Joshua doesn't have a Devons @ Home Profile (What are we gonna do with you, Joshua?), but he informs us that we can find pictures of Vico and Obi on his web site.


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